How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
