Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
