Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
