you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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