all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Someone signed my nipple.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
