When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Still dying that you shit outside
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
