hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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