So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
