Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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