Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
