So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
