I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
