Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
