i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Randomize
