good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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