everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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