Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
