I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
