I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
