Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hippo gnu deer
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
