I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
