She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Do vagina's smell?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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