We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
