adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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