med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
