i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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