Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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