wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize