'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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