ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
