i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
