Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
