Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
