My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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