Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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