If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
