Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
