Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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