ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize