So drunk its hurt
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm at about main and main street
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
