We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
