Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
