We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
