Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
