Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Green mimosas i think yes
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
