There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
