Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize