I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
