you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
