This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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