Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
