i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
