I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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