can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
