My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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