Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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