so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
