i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
