you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
