I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
