she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
