That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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