Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize