How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
