Sponge bath it is.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
