Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
