I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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